Monday, April 27, 2009

Fake IPL PLAYER: decoded

An anonymous blogger spilling out the juicy secrets and infighting among Kolkata Knight Riders has become the talking point of IPL season 2. The journalists in South Africa are less concerned with who will win the tourney and more with trying to find the identity of the mystery blogger. In the 2003 World Cup Mandira Bedi and her noodle straps made as much news as the cricketers on the field, six years later it's another noncricketing personality who is making the headlines. Though, going by the nickname he has given her, Sandy Baddy Babe, we're not too sure if the blogger will be pleased with the comparison. If you've been missing the action on, here's your entry point: the nicknames to decode who's who. So next time someone says, "That Bhooka Naan, Winniee dildo Kaan Mooled Little John," you will know exactly what is being spoken about.

This is how one of the blogger's regular readers tries to demystify the name:

MANDIRA BEDI "She is nothing like a babe but is still acting like one."

BIG SISTER SHILPA SHETTY A obvious attempt to tie-in with her identity as a Big Brother contestant.

PRINCE CHARLES OF PATIALA YUVRAJ SINGH Yuvraj is from Punjab and is revered like a King there.

GANJI HANGER SANJAY BANGAR No logic but plenty of rhyme. The blogger is obviously an Ogden Nash fan.

BUNTI AND BABLI: - NESS WADIA AND PREITY ZINTA We're at a bit of a loss over this more so now that Ness and Preity are no longer a pretty couple.

PETER KA BETA KEVIN PIETERSEN But now the blogger calls him Re-Peter, referring no doubt to his Bangalore team's dismal performance of the last season.

CALYPSO KING CHRIS GAYLE Gayle, KKR's only saving grace, is considered the king of Caribbean cricket.

LITTLE JOHN ISHANT SHARMA For the tallest player in the KKR team, a little bit of irony.

SHEIKH OF TWEAK SHANE WARNE Through the cricketing world today there is only one man who has earned that sobriquet: captain of the Rajasthan Royals

JUNTA TORMENTOR AJANTHA MENDIS That crazy bowling action that has flummoxed batsmen around the world earns him this appellation.

JOHN WRONG JOHN WRIGHT This one is a no-brainer when the blooger talks about a former Indian coach. Bit forced, we think.

MEERA BHAI HARBHAJAN SINGH This one doesn't take much sleuthing. There's a mention of Appam being slapped by Meera Bhai, referring to last year's Slapgate scandal.

BATLIWALA VIJAY MALLYA When you own the biggest brewery in the world, isn't that's the most obvious nickname. That's certainly better than Jesse Ryder's moniker: Bewda.

BUBLEE BRET LEE When Bunty's away Babli and Bublee are having a good times, so writes on the blog. We're not saying anything, he is.

BHOOKHA NAAN / JOHN BUCHANAN The coach is a regular part of every post. In his most recent, titled: Hats off to Bhookha Naan, he talks about the logic of first selecting Aakash Chopra and Sanjay Bangar and then packing them off.

KISHEN KANHAIYYA / RAVI SHASTRI With "his height, pot belly and receding hairline," the commentator is termed as IPL’s most colourful characters. He hangs around a bar with a 30-plus "well-endowed white woman who wore a sleeveless dress, with a generous neckline."

KAAN MOOLO / AJIT AGARKAR It has a Bengali connotation. Kaan is ears and Moolo is to squeeze. It also indicates how John Buchanan metaphorically squeezed his ears by having him out of the side.Also,Ajit Agarkar has enormous ears.

BADSHAH DILDO / SHAH RUKH KHAN 'Badshah' alludes to the film. The dildo bit we are not sure of. But the blogger spares no digs at Shah Rukh for cold-shouldering Ganguly.Though going by occasional references to weeny dildo we're sure our blogger is no SRK fan.

APPAM C****YA / S SREESANTH Because he comes from Kerala known for the famous delicacy Appam.As for the expletive, well Sreesanth is known to elicit strong reactions.Ask Harbhajan.

PAEDOPHILE PRIEST / ADAM GILCHRIST The priest bit we understand. Gilchrist after all chose to walk in a World Cup semi-final even though the umpire wasn't certain whether he had edged the ball.The paedophile bit, we hope is just a bit of whimsy.

LORDIE / SOURAV GANGULY In most of his dispatches the writer has expressed his heartfelt sympathy for Sourav and the circumstances around him, leading to speculation that it was dada himself who was the author of the anonymous blog.

SHAKESPEARE / AAKASH CHOPRA Chopra is perhaps the only accomplished writer among the players. He blogs regularly, and has also published a book, Beyond the Blues.


Blogger Aditya said...

Hey good job decoding these guys its mad emy life easier reading the blog. But there are some more names ot be dedoced like the joker, candie nickel, bevdaas, big mac. Please

8:38 AM  

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